Jack’s Word Adventures

Good news, where are you hiding? April 25, 2008

Somewhere in a cave with Osama bin Laden? Or is it a shallow grave? Or in heaven with 99 virgins???

I am a media sponge. Normally I just soak in trashy reality shows — like Your Mama Don’t Dance, Bill Moyers Journal, and The NewsHour With Jim Lehrer — but you can’t help hearing about the economy, Bush’s cycle of sucking/record low approval ratings, the never-ending Democratic race as John McNeardeath gains supporters, climate change, boycotting Beijing, possible actors strike, STAR JONES’S MARRIAGE ENDING, etc.

You can’t escape it. When I eat my meals, alone, at Subway, it’s supposed to be a respite. But no. Because there’s a TV, I get to hear about double-digit shootings, unseasonal weather, and trains flying into people in the very city where I eat my sweet onion chicken teriyaki on Italian with a side Sun Chips and without friends.

And it doesn’t end there. Now they’re* saying that the internet will reach it’s capacity in 2010 and, you know, end like A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila season 1 (heterosexually). Still, I guess I’m lucky it’s 2008 because I won’t even have an outlet for complaining about bad news in 2010.

*Probably the same people who are behind all of the catastrophes in the second paragraph (‘cept the Star Jones thing… that dude was just straight up gay).